Prom Blues

Dear Cordelia,

My 16-year-old daughter is angry with me because I won’t let her go to her prom. My Mom, my mother in law, and my husband all think I am being unreasonable. Is this wrong of me? What should I do? I know what happens at Prom and what the expectations are. My Prom was when I got pregnant with my daughter. I don't want her making the same mistakes I did. I love her and I wouldn't trade her for anything, but I wouldn't want her to give her life away so soon. I am just so worried that by not letting her go I am letting her down.

~Cautious Mama Bear

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Dear Mama Bear,

Prom is one of the most pivotal experiences of growing up. It is one of the first real formal events that you get to attend in your young adult years. I never got to go to my senior prom. I went to my boyfriend’s though. At the time he was a senior and I was a sophomore.

Prom was amazing and I regret that I didn’t get to go to mine. So many of us get to use that as a final moment to say farewell and party with our friends before we all leave for college and go our separate ways. My prom was full of adventures and I got to connect with people I hadn’t talked to my entire time at high school.

By the time my prom rolled around, I had already left high school early and started college and I didn’t get to attend. I regret missing it so much because of the amazing experience I had at the prom that wasn’t mine. I am never really one to a party or go out, but Prom wasn’t just about partying. It was about saying goodbye to the person you used to be and the life you used to have and looking to the future.

I understand that this is scary for you, considering how your prom went. Honestly though, not allowing her to go would be a mistake. One of the worst things that you can do in life is to punish your kids for your mistakes. Don't force her to miss out because you regret your personal choices.

The prom I went to at 16 wasn’t mine, but I had a lot of friends who were older and getting ready to leave. So many of them I haven’t seen since they graduated and now they are off living their own lives. I think that you should let her go, but just give her some ground rules.

Make sure you know who she is going with in case of emergencies.

Set a Curfew.

Make sure you know if she is planning to go to an afterparty or going to eat after and who it is with.

If you both have a steady plan for the night it should be fine.

I hope this helps!

~Cordelia Cross